Pam Halter
Writing Editing Serving

Parents Blog

Who goes? Who stays?
5/19/2014 12:11:51 PM by: pam

Okay, so those of us with special needs children who can't go everyplace with us know we often have to make a choice. Daryl and I do this all the time. Who goes to an event and who stays home with Anna? I am fortunate to have great respite care workers, but there are times when they simply aren't available. Or maybe something comes up and there's no time to call someone.

Last week was Mary's film festival at college. We decided not to go because it was a Friday night and traffic would be bad. Daryl is taking his last two personal days in June so I can go to North Carolina for my niece's graduation. That left him with no days to use. However, at the last minute, late at night, he decided to take a mental health sick day and go. There was no time to call anyone to sit with Anna, so I had to stay home. It was really hard on me because if the decision had been made earlier, I could have gone.

This is our life, though. And I've been able to travel to writers conferences as far away as California. I spend time with friends and family. I go to workshops and my writers groups. It's all part of being a serious writer, but I'm thankful I can attend these things.

It got me to thinking about what I have and what I wish I had. Of course, I wish Anna was normal and doing normal things. I wish she was seizure free. I want to have to adjust to an empty nest. I want to attend her college graduation or see her in a play or visit her apartment. I want to feel proud of her, like I do with Mary. I'm often frustrated because I don't have these things.

Being content is hard for me. It's an ongoing process, which I work on every single day. Some days, I'm pretty good.  Some days, I'm not. But this is what God has given me, so I have to deal with it the best way I can. And that means often deciding who goes and who stays.

How do you handle choosing who can attend a function and who can't?


Comments

Julie Ann Monzi From Gettysburg, PA At 5/20/2014 1:56:25 PM

I've almost always been the one to stay home. Now that the kids are older and two can stay home by themselves, it's usually Chris, Abigail, and me. That can be difficult sometimes because we'd been invited places and have had to take Ab with us (along with her DVDs). I'm grateful for our friends.

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