Pam Halter
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Parents Blog

Patience and Love and Wretchedness
11/13/2012 7:38:47 AM by: pam

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." -James D. Miles

Confession time. This saying is so much in my face right now. Anna can does nothing for me except make my life more difficult. And I don't always treat her in a loving way. Shame, shame, shame on me! I let my emotions and selfishness take over quite a bit, and I brush my harsh words away with, "I'm so tired, I can't help it."

I'm a wretch!!!

Can anyone else relate? It makes a person want to scream. I'm a Christian, so I have the Holy Spirit in me, right? The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5.) I exhibit none of these things many mornings, and yes, lack of sleep makes it hard, but if I have the power of God within me, how come I fail so many times?

We got back from vacation last night. Anna did pretty well and we got out of the unit and walked in Colonial Williamsburg and around the time-share resort. We even went to the indoor pool, and Anna loved it. I got some writing done and took a nap every day as Anna still woke up between 4-430am every morning. Seizures were about normal, so that's a blessing. However, Anna can't let anything be nice without doing something to raise our stress level. Her newest thing while riding in the van is to slide down in the seat and push herself up – over and over again – and guess what happens? Her pants slide down as she pushes up and end up down over her thighs. We have to pull over and pull her pants up every so often so the truck drivers passing us don't look down and see her half naked.  SIGH.

Why can't she simply do something to make our lives nicer?


Comments

pam From At 12/3/2012 4:17:47 AM

Thanks, Jenny ... the hard part for me is waiting for God to turn my horrible self into something good.

Jenny From PA At 12/2/2012 5:32:31 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQRaxELspKg Oh Pam, I love your ""raw"" (ha ha) honesty. I think of the song 'Second Chance' when I read this and think of some of the horrible things I myself have thought. I'm so glad He can take it and turn it to something good...Enjoy..

Julie From Gettysburg At 11/13/2012 4:38:42 PM

I'm feeling your pain, especially today. . .

pam From At 11/13/2012 11:02:48 AM

Don't compare, Carol ... you have just as much stress as I do ... it's only different. And we know that stress produces the same emotions. It doesn't matter the source. ((hugs))

Carol From PV At 11/13/2012 11:00:12 AM

I wish I was half the woman you are Pam.When I start feeling sorry for myself I think of you and what you go thru on a daily basis.I then count my blessings that my child is able to function a near normal life.The little things she can't do(drive)are minor.You are a good mom and caretaker.

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