Pam Halter
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The Things People Say - part seven
10/11/2012 5:56:56 AM by: pam

"So, When Are You Going To Put Her Away?"

“You have a life.” Yes, I do and I’m living it right now. It’s not easy, and I often pray, “Please, Lord, I want my old life back!” But when I look at Anna, so innocent and trusting, how could I let the thought of putting her in an institution even pass through my mind? I can honestly say I’ve never considered it for even one second. I did not choose this for myself and I would never go back and do it all again, but neither will I place Anna somewhere with strangers who don’t know or love her. She wouldn’t understand. She would constantly look for me. How could I enjoy my life if Anna was distressed and unable to find me? Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach.

We all know how institutions can be. Would you put your eighteen-month-old child out in the woods by themselves and say, “Okay, you’re on your own now.” Would that child survive? Anna would not survive, either. And I would be guilty of inflicting unnecessary pain and suffering on the child God has entrusted me with. No, Anna will live with us as long as humanly possible, and then she’ll go live with her sister, Mary.

So, what can you ask instead? It’s not really anyone’s business, but if you have to ask, say something like, “What are your future plans for Anna?” But I’d rather you not ask at all.


Comments

Julie Monzi From Gettysburg, PA At 10/12/2012 10:12:06 AM

I can't even begin to imagine how to answer that insensitive question. I can't imagine what is in the heart of the person who is asking either.

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