Pam Halter
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Parents Blog

Re-grouping
3/14/2017 8:10:00 AM by: pam

I’m re-grouping.

Well, I’ve been re-grouping for a couple of years now. Ever since we moved in with my MIL who has dementia. The person who has adjusted the best is Anna. Isn’t that funny? We were concerned for her the most. How do you explain to a severely mentally retarded autistic adult that she’s not going  home anymore?

But she hasn’t asked. Not even once. In fact, whenever we go to our house to pick up something, she sits in the van and says, “Go see Mom-Mom! Go see Mom-Mom!” like she’s scared we’re gonna get her out of the van and bring her inside. Kinda makes me wonder what was wrong with our house. Ha! 

But really, there’s not only more room for us at my MIL’s, it’s also safer for Anna because it’s a rancher. No more seizures on the stairs! And there are TWO bathrooms. The queen can sit on the throne for as long as she likes without us begging her to please tinkle so other people can use the toilet.

It’s not an easy situation, though. I’m homesick. Yeah, after 2 + years, I’m still homesick. It feels like a really bad vacation which I’m wanting to end so I can go home. But it’s not. And I can’t.

So, I’m re-grouping. I’ve started with a wonderful Christian counselor, who is helping me deal with my stress and depression. I’ve re-focused on Jesus. I’ve started a Joy Journal (I wanted to give it a cooler name, but so far I haven’t come up with anything, so I’m going with Joy Journal) where I write down things I see that maybe no one else would notice but that made me ridiculously happy and I can thank God for them. Things like the small black birds on a lawn that look like raisins on a cookie. Or the delightful surprise of cinnamon in the tartar sauce I had at a restaurant in Williamsburg. Writing this stuff down is kinda cool and it makes me change my thought pattern. Which is a good thing. And I feel better already.

How about you? How can you do some re-grouping? It’s not easy being the parent of a special needs child, so let’s help each other. Let’s all re-group … as often as we need.


Comments

Julie Monzi From Gettysburg, PA At 3/14/2017 10:51:59 AM

Pam, I love this. Reading about your Joy Journal brought me a flicker of joy. And yes, re-focusing on Jesus.

Reply by: Pam Halter

I love you, girlfriend!

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