Pam Halter
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Parents Blog

Happy? 26th Birthday, Anna
5/15/2017 7:37:00 AM by: pam

So, today is Anna’s 26th birthday. We’ll probably celebrate with McDonald’s cheeseburgers and fries. And people will wish her a happy birthday (which she doesn’t understand) and she’ll get cards (which she totally ignores) and gifts (she’s only interested in the tissue paper) and once again I’ll wonder if I’ve been blessed or cursed.

What parent WANTS a child with special needs? When we’re expecting, do we pray for a sick/disabled child? Of course not!!  We want a healthly, whole child. One who we’ll love and care for and teach and prepare for adulthood. That’s normal. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Except it’s not for lots of families.

Sure, she’s taught us things. And she blesses almost everyone who meets her. But with every year she gets older, so do I. And everything birthday that passes for her, I wonder if she’ll outlive me. And if she outlives me, how will she understand I’m never coming back? How do you explain death to an 18-month-old child? Who’s not a normal 18 months? I have to depend that God will handle it, as He always takes care of her.

But that doesn’t really help my anxiety when I let myself think about it.

Still, I wished her a Happy Birthday this morning. What else could I do?

 

                                                                         


Comments

Carol Wills From Smyrna DE At 5/17/2017 4:57:08 PM

Pam you are such an inspiration to so very many that don't have the courage, for fear of being judged or fear of hearing themselves think something that they don't want to think. Every day is a challenge with a special needs child no matter how simple or severe, Thank you for being you. Carol

Reply by: Pam Halter

Thanks!! ((hugs))

Linda Carlblom From Chandler, AZ At 5/16/2017 8:24:41 PM

I love your vulnerability, Pam. Thanks for keeping it real. Anna is blessed to have you even if she doesn't understand the depth of it.

Reply by: Pam Halter

Thanks, Linda!

Donna Craft From Vinton, VA At 5/16/2017 6:39:23 PM

Someday, when you are seated by the Father and you hear the words we all long for, "Well done", you will know what a blessing you are, not only to Anna, but to Mary and Daryl. You have blessed life and I'm privileged to call you friend. No one could do more for Anna than you and Daryl. Love you.

Reply by: Pam Halter

Love you, too!

Laura Pierce From Alloway, NJ At 5/15/2017 9:39:35 PM

Anna has most certainly had a "Happy Birthday." She has known another day of unconditional love from her wonderful family. That is something some people never experience. She blesses those that she meets because she is a child of God.

Reply by: Pam Halter

Thanks, Laura!

Judy P From Winterthur, Switzerl At 5/15/2017 6:14:19 PM

We have to trust that this is part of "The Plan" and I truly believe that there is something to learn from each experience we go thru. Still, my heart would question just like your does.

Reply by: Pam Halter

Thanks, Judy.

Julie Monzi From Gettysburg, PA At 5/15/2017 8:49:40 AM

Pam, I love your honesty in your blog posts.

Reply by: Pam Halter

I know you can totally relate, girlfriend.

Candy Abbott From Georgetown, Delaware At 5/15/2017 8:25:54 AM

Pam, this is a powerful blog, and today's message is especially moving. Your transparency and love touches the heart . . . ours and Anna's.

Reply by: Pam Halter

Thanks - love you!

Previous Posts

Happy? 26th Birthday, Anna
5/15/2017 7:37:00 AM  by: pam

Re-grouping
3/14/2017 8:10:00 AM  by: pam

We can relate!
9/1/2016 8:00:00 AM  by: pam

A Little Fall Fun
10/18/2015 8:04:11 AM  by: pam

Going Commando
10/5/2015 6:37:04 PM  by: pam

So Behind
9/22/2015 8:42:33 AM  by: pam

Stares and Storytime
4/12/2015 7:12:46 AM  by: pam

Big Big Changes
3/27/2015 9:12:27 AM  by: pam

Blog Post on Autism
9/22/2014 7:30:14 AM  by: pam

The Power of Pets
9/12/2014 4:21:44 PM  by: pam

Depression's Demands
8/15/2014 2:19:26 PM  by: pam

Do We or Don't We?
8/4/2014 12:00:01 AM  by: pam

Falling Down
6/22/2014 1:36:52 PM  by: pam

Research Study
5/23/2014 12:48:08 PM  by: pam

Who goes? Who stays?
5/19/2014 12:11:51 PM  by: pam

Being Thankful
4/25/2014 7:37:26 AM  by: pam

Excellent Article
4/7/2014 7:03:09 AM  by: pam

Jury Duty and Holland
3/27/2014 7:36:35 AM  by: pam

I Confess
3/17/2014 8:11:55 AM  by: pam

The Dreaded Medication Change
3/4/2014 12:49:56 PM  by: pam

Keeping It Together - part seven
2/24/2014 1:03:18 PM  by: pam

Keeping it Together - part six
2/10/2014 8:20:16 AM  by: pam

A Milestone Day
2/3/2014 8:13:17 AM  by: pam

Keeping it together - part five
1/21/2014 6:43:18 AM  by: pam

Keeping It Together - part four
1/3/2014 7:56:02 AM  by: pam

Keeping it Together - part three
12/16/2013 7:34:46 AM  by: pam

Keeping it Together - part two
12/9/2013 6:30:25 AM  by: pam

Keeping it Together - part one
12/5/2013 8:00:03 AM  by: pam

Catching Up
11/13/2013 8:22:00 AM  by: pam

The Perfect House
10/25/2013 8:06:56 AM  by: pam

Another Mom in the Mix
10/7/2013 3:11:58 PM  by: pam

Grieving the Loss
9/24/2013 8:39:13 AM  by: pam

Great article
9/11/2013 1:06:06 PM  by: pam

This and That
9/9/2013 4:09:18 PM  by: pam

Fun in the ER
8/30/2013 9:17:32 AM  by: pam

Bless me, Anna!
8/14/2013 1:51:41 PM  by: pam

Talk to me, Anna!
8/8/2013 5:04:30 PM  by: pam

God's Will
7/30/2013 3:13:08 PM  by: pam

Update on Anna's bloodwork
7/24/2013 6:31:05 AM  by: pam

Stirring the Cesspool
7/11/2013 6:27:11 AM  by: pam

Vacation and Other Fun Stuff
7/3/2013 5:46:28 AM  by: pam

A Day at the Beach
6/17/2013 8:05:05 AM  by: pam

Anna's Surgery Experience
6/5/2013 12:03:49 PM  by: pam

No Place For Anna
5/26/2013 8:27:52 AM  by: pam

Painful Gifts
5/21/2013 8:56:57 AM  by: pam

Happy 22nd Birthday, Anna!
5/15/2013 6:48:55 AM  by: pam

A Rough Day
5/6/2013 6:18:44 AM  by: pam

Things I've Learned - part five
4/30/2013 8:02:08 AM  by: pam

Things I've Learned - part four
4/22/2013 6:51:41 AM  by: pam

Things I've Learned - part three
4/15/2013 6:14:06 AM  by: pam

Things I've Learned - part two
4/9/2013 7:40:11 AM  by: pam

Interview with Terri Groh
4/5/2013 5:44:08 AM  by: pam

Things I've Learned - part one
4/3/2013 7:55:42 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - part eight
3/27/2013 6:06:08 AM  by: pam

Comparisons
3/18/2013 8:06:43 AM  by: pam

Why Is It A Blessing?
3/11/2013 6:24:04 AM  by: pam

Tim's Place
3/8/2013 11:57:02 AM  by: pam

New Medication Worries
3/5/2013 6:38:36 AM  by: pam

A Night Out for Anna
2/25/2013 11:29:44 AM  by: pam

Play it again, Sam
2/20/2013 5:47:32 AM  by: pam

Happy Birthday
2/15/2013 5:32:13 AM  by: pam

The Anna Bowl
2/4/2013 8:01:33 AM  by: pam

The Queen of Babble-on
1/30/2013 12:45:36 PM  by: pam

Really, people?
1/25/2013 7:36:11 AM  by: pam

Cold Feet
1/23/2013 7:55:46 AM  by: pam

Hearing God
1/15/2013 6:58:57 AM  by: pam

Running Away
1/10/2013 11:19:00 AM  by: pam

Post-Christmas-Reentry-Syndrome
1/4/2013 6:49:36 AM  by: pam

Emmanuel, God With Us
12/17/2012 6:51:08 AM  by: pam

Take Heart
12/7/2012 4:42:07 AM  by: pam

Jumping in the Leaves
11/27/2012 5:56:16 AM  by: pam

Being Thankful
11/19/2012 7:02:07 AM  by: pam

Patience and Love and Wretchedness
11/13/2012 7:38:47 AM  by: pam

A Typical Halter Vacation
11/8/2012 8:35:45 AM  by: pam

Is This Really My Life?
11/1/2012 5:21:04 AM  by: pam

Frankenstorm
10/27/2012 4:22:45 PM  by: pam

A Small Victory at Anna's Program
10/24/2012 7:21:36 AM  by: pam

Update on the problem at Anna's program
10/22/2012 8:23:51 AM  by: pam

The Fight Goes On
10/19/2012 4:55:06 AM  by: pam

Fighting the Good Fight
10/18/2012 7:01:44 AM  by: pam

Sit down, Anna
10/16/2012 6:44:47 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - conclusion
10/15/2012 8:32:45 AM  by: pam

The Cloaking Device
10/12/2012 6:22:27 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - part seven
10/11/2012 5:56:56 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - part six
10/10/2012 5:35:53 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - part five
10/9/2012 6:59:06 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - part four
10/4/2012 6:00:52 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - part three
10/3/2012 6:09:22 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - part two
10/2/2012 5:29:13 AM  by: pam

The Things People Say - part one
10/1/2012 7:52:27 AM  by: pam

Godzilla Lives at my House
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The Early Bird Gets Eaten
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Over and Over Again
9/25/2012 5:15:50 AM  by: pam

What Good Are Seizures?
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Why Me?
9/20/2012 8:37:32 AM  by: pam

The Rest of my Life?
9/19/2012 5:47:36 AM  by: pam

Feelings
9/18/2012 1:23:56 PM  by: Pam