Pam Halter
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Parents Blog

God's Will
Tuesday, July 30, 2013 by pam

Today is the anniversary of Joni Eareckson Tada's diving accident. She quoted Ephesians 1:10-12, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." She went on to say how she thanks God for being right in His will and that she wouldn't have it any other way.

Okay. I give her the right to feel that way, and I get it. I really do.

But then I read the comments. People GUSHED at how wonderful it was to be handicapped and how they thanked God for being disabled. Seriously?? I was sickened by this. And then I felt less than because, well, you know I do not feel blessed to have a special needs child and wonder if I should. I feel tired and stressed and deeply grieved at the loss of a normal child.

Which of us is right?

All of us. God's plan isn't always easy – in fact, most of the time, it's downright hard. And we aren't wrong when we feel we can't bear it anymore. And I wish I could get to the place where I praise Him for Anna. But according to His word, He plans things to happen for the purpose of His will. I often wonder what kind of person I would be if I didn't have Anna. Would I be able to praise Him in spite of my frustration and grief? Would my faith be as strong? Or would I be a luke-warm person in all things, without passion or deep feelings? I have no idea.

So, do I thank God for my situation? Nope. But I praise Him for taking it and using it. I'm grateful for the person He's molding me into. I can say hallelujah for the empathy I can show others because I know what emotional pain is.

And Anna? She's clueless. She has no idea how God is using her to touch my life and everyone's life she comes in contact with. She's happily playing with her blocks and having a soft pretzel for a snack. Yes, she's using her foot and hand together, as she loves to do. And she had a very good day shopping and going out to lunch with her friends in her program.

So, praise the name of the Lord! His will is good. He is good.

PS.  Anna does not have gallstones! I'm so relieved. Thanks for praying!

 


Comments

pam From At 7/31/2013 5:10:09 AM

Thank you, dear Deb! I think everyone wonders if they've made a difference. That's why we love It's A Wonderful Life so much.

Debra L. Butterfield From Missouri At 7/30/2013 8:46:24 PM

In God's master tapestry each thread adds a color. Each life that touches us adds something. Anna touched your life, and you have created this blog that touches others, and your readers touch others. When I'm tired I tell myself someday I'll see how my life touched countless others for good.

pam From At 7/30/2013 7:15:39 PM

I know! I admire Job. King David, too. He never thought his pain and suffering were something to gush about. Both men suffered and both praised God - for who He is, not because they suffered. At least, that's my understanding.

Julie Ann Monzi From Gettysburg, PA At 7/30/2013 7:11:33 PM

I love this sentence that you wrote: ""But I praise Him for taking it and using it."" I find it a little odd to be ""gushing"". Even Job didn't do that.

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