Do you ever wonder if God made a mistake in your life? Or maybe He's punishing you for something you didn't even know you did. I do. Either that or I made a mistake at some point with a wrong decision. Maybe I should have gone here instead of there. Maybe I should have said yes instead of no. Or no instead of yes. It drives me nuts and I'll never know.
Is this really the life I'm supposed to have? Did God really decide I needed to have an autistic daughter who also has uncontrolled seizures and severe mental retardation? Was it really necessary for me to have a 2-year-old for the rest of my life? A 2-year-old who doesn't need much sleep?
I'm exhausted once again. More than the usual tired. Are you?
What can we do about this? Absolutely nothing . . . except be here for each other. I have to remember this at 4am when I do feel totally alone. And I am pretty much alone at that time. Except for Anna, and it's HER fault I'm awake then. She's no help. But she's a blessing.
Right.
I would love to know if you deal with these feelings, too. I feel better just telling you about it and knowing you probably know exactly how I feel. That's why it's so important to support and encourage each other. Let me hear from you! We'll help each other.
ps. we made it through the storm with no damage and a short power loss, thank the Lord. For reasons I'll never know, He turned His ear to my prayers and I'm thankful!!
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